My Perspective Today

I have been pondering my present status.  I clearly have one foot out of the closet.  I am totally scared of showing my true self to friends and family.  But I am out to many, many people now.  I suppose that it is a matter of time before someone who knows compares notes with one of my friends or coworkers.  I am not sure what I will do at that point but I shall not worry about it now.  I will probably play it based on the reaction of the friend....

In any case, I coined the expression "anonymously out" to describe my present state.  I have now bought clothes in many stores, having tried them on with the sales clerk's assistance.  I buy makeup while wearing makeup.  I wear women's clothes when I get my hair and nails done.  I wore a women's suit, stockings and flats to a bar and had a drink.  I frequently wear jewelry while running errands.  So, there are probably well over 100 people who know that I am a sissy.  The world has not crashed down on me!  Not one of the persons listed above has said anything to suggest that they disapprove of my sissiness.  Wow. 

So, I am not sure where I shall go from here. 

I did it! More thoughts!

So, as you might be able to tell, I had sucked a cock and been fucked.  And even kissed a guy.  Wow.  I am now a complete sissy.  I placed an ad on Craig's List and picked amongst the candidates.   He arrive to find me wearing my grey sweater dress.  I wasted no time in getting on my knees and opening his pants.   He was soft but after some effort on my part, he hardened.  I am proud to say that I managed to take him all the way in.  It was so much fun but he did not cum.  I was amazed at his manly smell and enjoyed the pre-cum as it came out but I was disappointed that I did not get a sudden explosion to the back of my throat.  In any case, I asked him if he would fuck me.  He bent me over the couch and proceeded to slide it in.  I loved it!  He pumped me nice and hard, as I wiggled my sweet ass to meet his thrusts.  I could tell when he came by the way he was breathing and the fast pace of the fucking but I did not feel the cum.  Another disappointment.  I did enjoy as he slowly slipped out of my ass and I turned and gave him a big kiss!  He has asked for a return engagement, hehe...we'll see. 

I am seriously considering a second act tonight....

Post Coital Reflection

Wow!  I am still shocked. 

So, I started today by making an appointment to get my eyebrows waxed.  I planned on getting them done after work but decided to leave work early to get dressed a little.  I Came home and fussed over outfits, finally choosing my black suit.  I wore a white button down blouse that could have been a shirt with a white cami below.  I wore black knee highs and my black ankle shoes. Not overly obvious but clearly sissy to anyone who actually looked.  I put on a light foundation and light mascara and headed to the appointment.  None of the ladies at the salon looked shocked or asked about my style...damn.  The beautician did ask if I wanted a "defined arch" though.  She absolutely knew...of course, my cami was probably showing and my knee highs were right out there.  So, she did a very nice job, waxing, plucking and trimming.  Very definitely girly eyebrows. 

It only took a minute or two and I was out the door.   Now what to do.  There is a bar across the way and I went in.  I sat at the far end of the bar, near where the waitresses picked up their orders.  The bartender was a sweet young lady too.  I think they were aware of my situation but none of them said anything.   I was so hoping to engage with the bartender, at least....oh well. 

Meanwhile, I had posted a personal ad on Craigs List....could I go through with it this time.  I received a number of replies but finally went for it, giving my address to a guy that was going to be in the neighborhood...I rushed home to get dressed and put on my makeup.  I was going to actually do it!!!! 

And, I did!

A New Year!

So, I started off the new year with a nice chat with Kirstie at Nite Flirt. We chatted a long time about me losing my virginity.  So, I am once again seriously pondering the idea.  I also tried something new.  One of the things that would be cool is being bent over and fucked, panties down at my ankles and dress over my head.  When he's done, pulling up my panties and putting my dress down.  And then feel the cum oozing from my hole.  So, today, after I came, I put the cum in my ass and I am sitting here waiting for it to leak out, into my panties.  I am not sure how long it will take but I will let you know how it goes.

Next Step

So, I have not completed my goal yet.  But I am getting there.  I chatted on-line last night and received a good suggestion.  I told her that I was thinking about losing my virginity, and the whole wedding dress thing and she said I had the cart before the horse.  That I needed to learn how to relate to men, as a woman, before jumping off into sex.  She may be right, but where do I find a guy to flirt with and go to dinner with, flirt with, dance with, kiss?

I am mulling this idea over in my head....not sure what to do.  Feel free to advise me!

A girly day.

So, I had a girly day today. I started with black bikini panties from VS.  Just a plain cotton but still, a good start.  I then used my cleanser, astringent and moisturizer.  Feeling sexy today, I applied a light coat of my BB cream.  And the strobe cream, by MAC, to give me a dewy look.  A little mascara and lip base and I was off to work!

Sitting there I felt like I needed to go shopping.  So, at lunch I went to the mall to see if my favorite cosmetics-counter girl was in.  She was, but she was tied up.  So, I killed some time at VS.  I bought three soft and silky panties, white, black and pink.  All with lace trim.  Mmm.  I was disappointed when the check out lady said that "she'd like these, they're so soft".  I know, I should have corrected her right off.  Damn.  Now I have to go back.  Hehe.  So, I headed back to the department store and she was not busy.  She remembered me and we had a great chat about the new line she is representing.  And she invited me to come back to an event they are having next week..."we'll play a little"....I can't wait!

So, then my dance supply store called.  My new ballet pants arrived.  These are much more form fitting, almost like a footless tight but not quite as skin-tight.  So, I picked those up.  And finally, I stopped by the post office and my Jockey "Fit-kit" arrived!  So when I got home, I tried out the different plastic cups and measured myself.  I am a 1-40 under this system.  Now, to order a new bra!!

Leotard

So, I went to the Capezio store in Wayne, NJ.  It was near closing time so I did not have time to browse.  I really want to get back there when time is not so critical!  It is just full of good things and I so want to try some of them on!  In any case, I walked in and a nice young lady asked if she could help me.  I said that I needed to get a leotard, extra large.  She asked about sleeve style and I asked for a short sleeve one.  She showed me two racks, one with a nylon/spandex mix and the other with a cotton/spandex mix.  I asked about the difference and she talked about wear and fading.  I figured that cotton would be cooler than a 100 % synthetic so I went with the cotton.  Unfortunately that limited me to black or white. I chose black.  She then looked at me like "what next?".  I said I didn't really know what I was doing, hoping that she'd suggest trying it on.  But she didn't.  So, we went to the counter and I paid for it.  Leotards are pretty inexpensive.  I may need one in every color, hehe.  So, I drove off and started changing into it, finally getting it on.  It is a little tight but I hope that all this extra exercise and a better diet will drop a few pounds.  We'll see.  In any case, I wore the leotard all the way to my hotel and threw on a jacket (from the suit) and checked in.  The clerk kept giving me funny looks, like she knew what I was wearing under my jacket.  Hehe.  I am such a sissy!

 

 

So, there I am.  I'll get better, I promise!