Ballet Class

Ok.  I had my first ballet class today.  Plié.  Demi-plié.  It was at least as difficult as I expected.  the instructor is a guy but the remainder of the class are women, ranging in age from 20ish to 60ish.  They seemed very accepting and supporting.  So, wow.  The movement is so girly I can not begin to describe how it makes me feel.  But I am expected to do everything and do it with a self confidence and poise that I do not have.  Yet.  That is the point though, isn't it?  At the very least I will be better balanced and more graceful.  With any luck some of that will carry over into my non-ballet life in a way that presents itself as gracefully feminine.  The trick is carrying myself with that same poise and style as I go about my life.  It will be interesting to see if anyone notices.  Hehe.

Ballet Shoes

I bought ballet shoes today.  Black.  Ok, I should have bought pink but I am not totally out, right?  In any case, I need to figure out what else to wear.  I think I should not start out with a pink leotard and white tights, though that is what I'd like.  Probably will end up with black yoga pants.  Oh well...the entire experience will be pretty girly.  I'll let you know when I figure it out.  Saturday morning is the first class.   Giggle.

Wednesday 7/17...Bought a pair of black dance pants today.  And a dance belt.  I'd rather need a dance bra...oh well. 

Dinner out

I should probably tell you about dinner on Friday night too.  So, I had my nails done on Friday afternoon.  As usual, she asked me if I wanted a clear coat.  As the family is away for the weekend, I figured that this would be a good time to have a little color for a couple of days.  No hiding that!  So, I told her that I'd be daring and try some color.  There is not likely any doubt in her mind about my sissyness.  So, we chose a light pink polish and she applied a clear coat and the pink.  She then asked whether I'd like it sheer, as is, or go with a second coat, showing me the difference with her nails.  I opted for the second coat.  She applied that and a final clear coat and the drying drops.  We then did the haircut.  As I was checking out the receptionist noticed that two nails were messed up...not hard dry yet...probably from reaching into my back pocket for my wallet (maybe a good reason to use the purse more often?  Food for thought.)  In any case, she had my nails repaired and I was on my way.  These trials and tribulations give me a better appreciation for what women put up with for beauty. 

So, I decided to go out for dinner.  I went home to walk the dogs first and to decide on an outfit for dinner.  I settled on the black suit, with pants.  Oh how I'd have liked to wear the skirt and heels but, small steps.  In any case, I wore the white short sleeved knit top and a cami.  I put on my silver necklace too, under the blouse.   The necklace could just be seen at the sides of my neckline.  I chose an Irish pub and drove there, when I realized that I needed ink for the printer.  Oh well, as long as I am in the neighborhood.  So I stopped at Staples for the ink.   Only the lady at the checkout saw me and she did not say anything or otherwise react.  On to the restaurant!  I had to park about 100 yards from the entrance and walk across the green.  I did not run into anyone so, no reactions.  I entered the restaurant and it was mostly empty...early for the dinner crowd.  The hostess seated me but with a little bit of a question in her eyes...now I am out!  There were televisions to watch so I did not have to sit there dwelling on my predicament.  The waitress was very polite and it all went smoothly, as it should, but I know the wait staff was talking about me.  I decided to take it farther and move the necklace outside the blouse.  Now there could be no doubt...no guy wears a crew neck knit with a thin silver necklace sitting on the outside.  So, there it was...right out there on the table.  And I survived. 

Ballet

Totally inspired this morning, I made an inquiry at a ballet school.  They have beginner classes for adults on a drop-in basis.  Since I would not be coming in at "the beginning", I figure that it would be even more uncomfortable, as the remainder of the class would be more advanced.  So, I asked about having some private lessons, to bring me up to speed.  I am waiting anxiously waiting to hear back.  I started looking into ballet clothing.  Do I dare buy the pink ballet shoes?  Tights and a leotard or pants and a shirt?  If pants, tight, ankle length?  So many questions.

I told the studio that I was looking to work on my balance and movement for my actual sport.  I am not sure about whether I should slowly work towards letting them know it is really being about acquiring a feminine deportment and state of mind.  We'll play that by ear.  In general, I think that any activity that is clearly this feminine will help with my overall adjustment. 

Chatting

So, I just chatted with "GlitterGoddess" from NiteFlirt.  She was very interested in me and my venture into the world of femininity.  She asked all sorts of questions about why and when I started and I told her most of the stories that I have posted.  It was by far the best chat that I have ever had about my life and the changes I am going through.  It was very therapeutic.  I suspect that we will chat on a regular basis.  It just felt so nice to have an understanding person listening to my thoughts and stories.  There was absolutely no judgment and felt so comfortable as we chatted.  I even showed her my little boobies. 

Clearly she is encouraging me to delve deeper into femininity.  She asked about doing something with my voice, even offering to start right then.  This is something that I need to work on but I am not overly optimistic about ever sounding feminine.  In the mean time, we also talked about feminine gestures.  I have been working on modifying my walk and my hand gestures but my sense is that I am doing a typical male interpretation of women rather than actually capturing the essence of femininity.  I think I come across as a camp impersonator.  I think that having feminine input could move me in the right direction and GlitterGoddess (I think I'd rather use her actual name) suggested belly dancing as a means of achieving some feminine mannerisms.  This sounds pretty reasonable.  I have been thinking of dance, in general, as a means of developing my self but was thinking ballet or ballroom dancing.  Yoga is another thing I have been pondering...most of the classes are women and emulating them could help.  I'd love to be in a class of some sort with all women and to have them treat me like one of the girls.  Another thing to work on.