Macy's was amazing.  I found Carolina's office and she invited me in.  She has an accent so I had trouble understanding her at first.  She took me out to the floor and ended up in the men's suits.  Clearly a misunderstanding.  So, there in the men's section I had to say that I was looking for a women's suit.  Nice start!  So, we went upstairs and looked at some separates, Calvin Klein and others.  We picked out a couple in various sizes.  She added a couple of knit shells for under the suit.  We went back to her office where there are a couple of private dressing rooms.  She set me up but I was left wondering if I should get dressed and come out or not.  She clarified that by saying that she wanted to see.  The first jacket and shell were too small, which I showed her.  I changed to the larger jacket and shell and came out.  She played with it a bit in the sleeve and the legs were way long.  I had figured on getting a petite pants but had forgotten to mention it to her.  It then became obvious that she was talking about alterations.  So, she ran out to get the seamstress.  She was an older lady and did not seem at all bothered that I was standing there in stockings and a women's suit.  She made me put on my shoes and pinned up the pants and jacket sleeves.  It all went so quickly, and I had not tried on a skirt or heels yet!  So, I summoned the courage and asked Carolina whether the suit came with a skirt.  And, yes it did!  She ran out to get it as I pondered the idea of a lady seeing me in a skirt.  The suit was androgynous but the skirt was not at all.  I put it on and put my shoes on...and came out of the dressing room.  I said it fit well but the shoes were wrong.  Now we were on a roll.  After a few tries, she finally found a pair of black leather pumps with a 2" heel.  I was in heaven when they fit! And I was standing there in a skirt and heels, in front of a woman.  Wow, I've started to really come out.  After she checked me out she gave me her card and said I could call for another appointment any time.  I guess that she is cool with the whole thing.  I have to go back in 10+ days to pick up the jacket and pants.  I hope that I get to try them on.  I may wear the suit out into the mall.  I'd love to do that with the skirt but I am not sure that I am ready for that yet.  In any case, I think that I am going to need a dress right off....

Macys

I set up an appointment with a personal shopper at Macy's for tomorrow.  I said that I was interested in buying a pant suit for work.  And maybe a blouse and shoes.  I then received a phone call from the lady, Carolina.  I had a bad connection, she had an accent, and I was in my office.  Not a good time to get personal.  I answered her basic questions but I did was not able to really chat.  So I sent her an email with my sizes and preferences.  I told her that I wear a size 18 blouse and a size 10 pant buy that because my inseam is only 29 1/2 inches that I often wear petite with flats.  She did not reply and after waiting a few days I sent her another asking whether she had received the first.  She replied that she had not so I resent the first.  I am now anxiously waiting for her reply.  I hope to ask her about what I should wear tomorrow as I am very anxious about that too. I have more or less decided on black pants, the maroon sleeveless sweater and the tweed jacket.  Clearly women's clothes to someone paying attention. 

I also spent some time with a Estee Lauder on-line assistant yesterday discussing makeup, as Dan.  She was very professional and gave me some information regarding a look that is not obvious.  I need to stop and see Marcie to get the sheer foundation that she recommended.  I can't wait. 

So, I am hoping that Carolina gets some pretty bouses for me to try on.  Something really fem.  I won't be able to wear them as a guy but it would be fun to see how they look.  And it would mean that she understands fully who I am.  Same thing with shoes.  I asked for flats but I am hoping that she has a least some short heels.  And a skirt.  Trying on the suit would be one thing....it can be seen as a guy's suit.  But a skirt is absolutely fem.  No ambiguity there.  It would be so over the edge.  Many people have seen me shopping in an womens clothes but only pants.  Trying on a skirt for her would be an intense experience;  I do not know if I could ask if she does not offer though.  We'll see.

I called David's Bridal yesterday to reschedule my appointment.  I was scared to death.  A very nice lady named Heather answered.  I told her that I had to reschedule my appointment.  She asked what the date of my appointment was, looked it up and asked if I was Dan.  I said yes.  She did not appear to react, simply asking when I'd like to reschedule for.  I told her that April 23rd was the best day and she asked if 11:00 was still good.  I replied yes and she rescheduled me, thanked me for calling and said goodbye.  By the time I got off the phone, there was an email confirmation in my inbox.  There appears to be no confusion as to my intents as the confirmation, as last time, clearly talks about all the things that the bride should do to prepare for the appointment.  I am so thrilled.  And scared.  I am so anxious about how they are going to actually do the fitting.  Do they have a very private room?  Do they have a guy that will handle it (this would be very disappointing, and embarassing).  Do they intend for a woman to handle it and if so, will she be fitting me for a strapless bra and will she be seeing me in my panties?  I still am not sure how I should go to the appointment.  I would like to ask about these items but I am so intimidated.  In any case, I am looking forward to the event.  I am hoping that they will call or email with specific instructions and/or a quick discussion about my "likes".  That would open the door for a discussion of my questions. 

With respect to a makeover that morning, I need to be more direct with Candace, I think.  I could book the makeover by email but I think that she'd be insulted that I did not talk to her about it.  I could ask if she does makeup and if she is available on the 23rd in the morning when I book my next manicure, I suppose.  I let you know!  Hehe. 

Ok, so I have gotten it into my head that I should lose my virginity in a girly way.  I think wearing a wedding dress as I kneel before a man for the first time will firmly put me into the role of a submissive sissy.  With that in mind, I have made appointments at two bridal salons to try on dresses.  I am scared to death and yet am fascinated by this.  I can think of nothing else.  I made a mistake with the one appointment and scheduled it for a Monday morning when I will be returning from out of town.  I cannot reschedule it by email so I will have to call.  I am not sure that they know that I am a guy and their reaction may be negative.  With respect to the other appointment, I have emailed the bridal consultant and asked a couple of questions and she replied with my male name so I have to assume that she knows....

So both stores have requested that I browse their gown collection and find a few that interest me.  I have tried to learn as much about fits as possible and have selected a number of dresses for my "wish list".  Here is one that is similar to the one that I like the best:

 

I had my nails done on Friday.  As I waited for the appointment  I read Brides magazine.  I do not know if Candace noticed or not but I left the magazine on the table rather than putting into the rack.  Maybe the receptionist will notice as  she puts it back.  As usual, Candace asked whether I wanted a clear coat.  I said yes, then kiddingly said "well, maybe a little color this time"  She replied, "maybe a light pink?" and I agreed.  She used the clear though.  I will continue to see how she reacts to my sissy hints.  I am thinking of asking her to style my wig and doing some makeup for my appointment at the bridal salon.  I am really starting to let women know that I am a sissy.   The embarassment is exquisite.

Hi.  I have started wearing makeup on a regular basis.  Almost always mascara and shadow.  I did foundation, blush and lipstick though on Friday.  I went to the mall to see if Marcie was working at Estee Lauder but she wasn't.  I browsed the jewelry counter but did not buy anything.  I so want to pierce my ears but I am terrified of what the friends and family would say.  In any case, I stopped at a grocery store on the way home and the checkout girl either did not notice the makeup or was totally disinterested. 

I have an appointment for a manicure with Candace today.  I felt so girly calling the salon.  They did not ask why I wanted the appointment so I made sure that the receptionist knew it was for my nails.  Maybe she assumed, since that is all I have had done at this salon.  In any case, they called yesterday to confirm but I could not answer.  I loved listening to the message though.  "Hi Dan, this is to confirm your appointment at 5:00 for a manicure with Candace.  Have a nice day Dan."  How to get them to call me Dani, or better, Diane?  So, I am looking forward to the manicure.  I broke two nails this week.  I really need to find a way to strengthen them.  The other nails are long enough for Candace to shape.  I wonder what she'll say about shaping them?  I have been pondering what to wear to the appointment too.  I am not ready for an overtly feminine appointment but I feel like I should wear something that might prompt Candace to question my sissiness.  I also hope that we get to spend the entire time in private.  I think it would be fun to have her asking questions that subtly probe my sexuality.