So, I have been getting a bit more daring.  After buying the Estee Lauder makeup, I have been trying to maintain a skin care regimen.  So I exfoliate, clarify and moisturize every morning now.  I try to remember to do it at night but I am not so good at that yet.  In any case, I started wearing a light coat of mascara every day.  I am very careful to use a clean brush and separate my lashes so that the clumps are gone and it is not obvious.  Yesterday I took it up a level and wore shadow too.  My eye creases are dark naturally so I just evened them out and added some light shadow over the rest of my eyelids.  I felt so pretty.  I stopped by Estee Lauder at lunch to see if Marcie was there but she wasn't.  The other girls were busy so I left.  I should mention that I put on the Stay Honey lipstick before going into the mall.  I can not tell how noticable the lipstick is.  I am hoping on the one hand that it is subtle but on another level, I am announcing that I am a sissy.  In any case, I returned to the mall after work to see if Marcie might have just been at lunch.  She was still not there.  The other girls were not occupied and were chatting at the Clinique counter.  I stayed by the EL counter until one of them finally came over...the first person to really see me with makeup on.  She was very nice also and I told her that I was looking for an eye pencil to go with the Stay Honey lipstick.  She put a little lipstick on her hand and the tried two pencils.  She made a recommendation, which I agreed with and I purchased it.  She gave me some samples as I checked out and she made it clear that she knew that I would be the one using it.  How girly of me. 

Then, as I checked out, I realized that my debit card was missing.  After a quick review, I realized that it was probably at On Tap, where Brenda and I had gone the night before.  So, I decided to stop there on the way home and check.  The questions was, should I go in with the lipstick on?  All of the way over I though about the question.  I knew that being a bar it the lighting would be low.  And I knew that most of the bartenders were women.  So, I talked myself into it.  So, I parked and walked in without encountering anyone.  There was a woman at the bar but she was talking to a guy.  So, I walked over an she asked if she could help me.  In all the way now.  I told her what had happened and she said that she had seen the card, or so she thought.   She walked to another part of the bar, where there were a group of men talking and she searched for it, maybe in a drawer.  She then asked for an ID and I gaver her my driver's license.  All the time I am wondering if anyone has noticed my makeup.  She hands me back my license and card and I thank her.  No visible recognition of my makeup.  Did she see or not?  What did she think if she did?  Did the guys see?  I don't know.  But I seemingly turned a corner and am not embarassed to be seen as a sissy.  Sweet! 

I should mention that I was cold at work and came home and put on a turtleneck to stay warmer.  A ladies turtle neck.  Black, with a high neck and cable knit.  Not obviously a woman's bouse and yet a little fem.  So, I wore that under my wool shirt all afternoon.  But I took the shirt off to go into the mall and into the bar.  I did not have a slacks or shoes to wear so it was probably not noticable but I stilll enjoyed it. 

I have decided that the next thing to do is to try on shoes.  I am hoping to find a store with a young female clerk and otherwise empty.  This is the first time, after all.  I plan on wearing the little not to fem booties with panty hose.  Probably the grey slacks.  Maybe with the maroon knit shell and my jacket.  We'll see. 

Ok, so I have not yet sucked a cock.  I have discussed it with a couple of guys via e.mail but I have not succumbed.  Let me tell you what I have done.  First, I went to the Bon Ton department store.  I was wearing a nice sweater set, in royal blue.  I had on black pants with a side zip, tan panty hose and a pair of cute boots.  Anyway, I walked in the entrance near the cosmetics counters and there was a cute girl, Marcie, at the Estee Lauder counter.   She caught my eye and I don't know if she noticed what I was wearing and deduced that I'd be interested in her products or whether she was just being friendly but she came to the counter as I approached and asked if I needed any assistance.  I made a leap and said yes, foundation.  That opened the door pretty wide and after a quick exchange, she was holding up a template with color on it to match my complexion.  We chose a double-wear foundation to try and the next thing she's applying it on my cheek.  She then tried another and let me compare.  I chose one and she then asked if I needed anything else.  I think my eyes gave her the answer and she suggested a blush.  W chose a blush and moved on to lipstick.  There was no pretending that I was not a sissy anymore.  I was over the edge.  Someone Knew My Secret.  I've done a lot of shopping, in person, and I would guess that some of the sales ladies suspected that I was shopping for myself.  Marcie flat out knew.  It was exhilarating.  We chose a nice lipstick and then a five-color eye shadow compact.  I had no idea what I was spending but she could have sold me anything.  As I checked out she commented on the cure heart ring I was wearing.  I am totally in now.  I signed up for Estee Lauder's email and she promised to call to see how I liked the makeup.  She also told me that there were some gifts that she would hold for me and she'd call when they come in.  I have not heard from her yet and I hope that she was serious.  I get so excited when I get a call from an unknown number now, hoping it is her.  I have resisted going back to see if she is working as I do not want to come across a stalker but I hope she calls and I hope that it will be ok if I see her next time with makeup on....

Then, in my new found freedom, I made an appointment at a local salon to get a manicure.  I was too scared to call but found a salon that has an online appointment booking system.  I made the appointment and got a confirming email for the following week.  I was anxious all week, wondering if I could go through with it.  Then, the day before the appointment, I received a confirmation call from the salon.  They asked for Danielle...I don't know if I mentioned it but my name is Daniel.  I use Diane as my fem name as it is not simply a feminization of my real name.  Anyway, it was a little bit of a thrill to have someone call and ask for Danielle.  She asked if Danielle was there and I said "yes, speaking".  There was a subtle intake of her breath when she realized that the appointment was for a guy.  So, I confirmed the appointment.  Then, yesterday I left the office a little early, to go to the bank and get to the salon early.  The bank did not take as long as I had figured and I got to the appointment 20 minutes early.  I sat in the car for ten minutes and I was scared to death to go in.  I also did not want to arrive too early as that is bad form.  So, at ten minutes before the appointment, I got out of the car and walked in the salon.  The receptionist was busy so I stood for a couple of minutes.  She then asked if I had an appointment and I said yes and told her my name.  She said that Candace would be right out and to have a seat.  So, I sat and read a fashion magazine for a minute until Candace arrived.  She was an attractive young girl with black hair with a blond under layer and a multicolored layer below that.  Very cute.  She walked be to the back of the salon where there was a manicure station set up.  Relatively private...or so I thought.  So, she had me soak my nails for a few minutes, by myself.  I was very self conscious.  She then returned and started working on my right hand.  It took a minute but she got a good conversation started and I relaxed.  But then another manicurist set up a table abutting ours and another lady sat down to have her nails done.  The conversation from the other table pretty much killed our conversation and while they kiddingly included me at one point, there was no real participation in the remainder of the manicure.  In any case, Candace completed the work on my nails (they were terrible as they have been very brittle lately).  She then asked about whether I wanted a clear coat or not.  Moment of truth.  If I did the polish someone might notice.  With a deep breath, I said yes and she applied the polish.  The clear is subtle but definitely visible, if scrutinized.  We'll see what happens.  I have Candace's card and I am thinking of doing my nails again in two weeks.  Oh, and while I was sitting at the table, a number of men came through going to the men's salon.  It both excited and embarrassed me to be seen doing such a fem thing.  Oh my.